Witty Facebook Statuses

Facebook statuses containing witty statements are undoubtedly the first port of call for those wishing to generate a large amount of activity on their Timeline. But what are you to do if you cannot think of witty Facebook statuses? The simple answer is to take the time to browse the ever-expanding selection of witty Facebook statuses we have on offer here.

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Witty Facebook Statuses
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Never criticise someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes...that way you are a mile away and you have their shoes :-)
Due to lack of use... I have been denied access to my sanity.
will need an airplane and a condom, in order to give a flying fuck.
Quit using the same lame sarcastic " your right, im wrong". Its not about who's right or who's wrong. It's about WHAT is right.......So can i please eat my fruity pebbles in peace without hearing any of your CONSTANT BITCHING ?!?!
says crazy is a relative term. Most of my relatives have it. LOL
Those of us that can embrace our past are the ones that have learned from our mistakes. Those of us that try to hide the past are still making the same mistakes
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
Raise up your middle finger and wave goodbye.
I just read just somewhere that stress makes you smarter... If that's true I should be splitting an atom in my kitchen sink sometime later today! :p!
when someone tells you to get in shape, tell them round is a shape.
Witty Facebook Statuses
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For those who tell you "I know you better than you know yourself" You should ask them "Okay, what did I fantasize about when I masturbated this morning?"
I can't stand it when people put song lyrics in their status updates, because they remind me of somebody that I used to know.
wants to thank Crown, Jack, Jose, and that oddly placed Camel for all of your support!!!
I Feel, Well, Like I'm gonna get on someones nerves today :)
It's never too late to learn something useless.
just imagine if the Pilgrims killed a cat insted of a turkey we all would be eating pussy
I hugged Edward Cullen today i found out there is glitter and sparkles all over my hands!
they say the cream rises to the top but did not consider shit floats


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