FStatuses is a collection of one-liners that you can use for your tweets and posts. Simply pick a background you like and post the generated image directly to your Twitter or Facebook account, download images by right-clicking them or simply copying the text you liked.
Also, please rate and and your own so that our collection grows!


Visit a category to add your own

Funny Facebook Statuses
Tweet Post on facebook
Post the generated link and it will appear as image in your timeline
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I've never been so mad that I pee'd myself.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
Jingle all the way. Nobody likes a half-assed jingler.
If I was the guy that made Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
I told Santa what I wanted for Christmas and he washed my mouth out with soap.
I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an “I Heart Murder” t-shirt before I’d pick up a call from a blocked number.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
My alarm clock stopped working, so I'll be setting the microwave for 8 hours while I sleep on the kitchen floor.
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
Funny Facebook Statuses
Tweet Post on facebook
Post the generated link and it will appear as image in your timeline
Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
Do you, take Ted the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I'd probably choke it.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it's not their own.
I just realized I’ll never be a Lawyer because I can’t pass a bar.
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse first. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage

We add new interesting quotes to our site daily, so visit us frequently to find the most popular facebook status updates, sayings about relationships and friendship or some funny facebook statuses. Also please remember to vote for the ones you like, so that more people can see them. Thanks!