Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

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Funny Facebook Statuses
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Just get hoarders addicted to crack. They'll sell all their stuff to buy more crack. Problem solved.
I can understand why you are mad at me, but the horse I rode in on had nothing to do with it.
So there are these "Don't start forest fires" commercials telling me to "Get my Smokey on." All I can think is, if an anthropomorphic bear in a pair of jeans and a ranger hat comes up and tells me not to set stuff on fire, I probably already did.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease but it's also the first one to be replaced.
Detailed list of people who asked for your opinion: ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________ ________
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Anyone who can tell if they are speeding up or slowing down a ceiling fan on the first try is a wizard, and should not be trusted.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're just my type.
On chilly nights the Amish use acoustic blankets.
Clearly Obama flunked his first term since he's being forced to repeat it again.
Funny Facebook Statuses
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When I die, I'd like someone to keep updating my Facebook for me just to freak people out. Things like, "hey, who knew they had wifi up here?"
When I say '' It's a long story'' It usually means I just dont want to tell you it.
If I ever go missing, don't put my photo on anything. Go to the bars around my neighborhood, I can guarantee I'm there.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
What is parking like at the Special Olympics?
It's 10 degrees here today. I just keyed someone's car with my nipples.
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?


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