Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Funny Facebook Statuses
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If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.
Funny
+2
Netflix gives you 15 seconds between episodes to decide whether or not you're doing anything with your life today.
Funny
0
I've spent my whole life trying to maintain my integrity. That didn't work. How do I sell out?
Funny
0
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
Funny
+5
Imagine how short church would be if Busta Rhymes was the preacher
Funny
0
What do you call a Russian with Tourette's Syndrome? Yukanol Fukov.
Funny
0
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
Funny
0
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence, your answer should always be, "Please don't hit me again officer"...
Funny
+4
"Wow! That butterfly's gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
Funny
0
Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for 'Old Spice'?
Funny
0
Funny Facebook Statuses
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If the restaurant serves chips and salsa, I am going to leave so full that I hate myself.
Funny
+2
When you're young and you cuss, people to tell you not to use foul language because only adults can, but when you're older and you cuss, people tell you to "grow up!"
Funny
0
I'm not saying that I've been on the internet too long today, I'm just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
Funny
0
Chris Brown said he might retire from music. That sure is going to leave him with a lot of time on his fists.
Funny
0
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Funny
+12
Is anyone going to tell America's funniest videos about YouTube?
Funny
+4
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
Funny
+7
My masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me. That's the last time I ask for a happy ending...
Funny
+1

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