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Have you ever noticed the more annoying the toy is, the longer the battery last?
tried being normal. Didn't like the feeling, so I'm going back to being ME.
Mary went to a barbecue, a barbecue! Mary went to a barbecue, were they cooked the lamb real sloooooooooooow.
Is off to examine the back of their eyelids for holes..due to the complexity of this process,I will be unavailable for around 8 hours. Please leave a message ;)
Age Old Truth #37: To a child, *Snap Crackle Pop* is what you hear from a bowl of Rice Krispies. To an adult...it's what you hear getting out of bed.
Says the worst thing to say to a cop is "Bad cop. No donut for you!"
.:* Life is like a roller coaster, it can be enjoyable, but it can be scary too, It'll flip you, jerk you, or even hurt you. But it can also make you very happy
Your heart is a precious gift...so be careful who you give it to!
Two years ago I married a cute young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce them.
got mad today cause they was talking to themself, and kept getting interrupted by themself,,so now I am ignoring myself,,that should teach me to talk out of turn
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Okay sweetie let me dummy this down for you. You have 5 kids, by 4 different fathers and you have white hair. Nope not jealous at all!
it is better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass Very funny lol
Life is what you make of it. No one to blame if it doesn't go your way. Your in control of your own life. You may be gone Tomorrow so live today to the fullest!
"Sigh. guess it's time to go do some grocery shopping. A mouse hung itself in our fridge and left a note 'can't live like this'
last night i was having sex with my boyfriend when i screamed flawless victory my Friends in the other room yelled finish them
STOP whatever you are doing and for the next 5 seconds -Wherever you are just GET UP AND DANCE!
Life would be perfect if pizza wasn't fattening, and sweatpants were sexy.
Lost their mind leave a message after the beep and will get back to you as soon as they can