Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Funny Facebook Statuses
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Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got ADHD.
Funny
0
Ikea: Legos for adults
Funny
+1
I've never jumped in one of those photos where everyone was supposed to jump. I always just open my mouth and throw my arms in the air.
Funny
0
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Funny
0
I hate when I'm in a hurry at the bank and I get a really chatty teller. "What kind of gun is that?" "How many bullets does it hold?"
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0
I'm going to start randomly tagging myself in everyone's pictures. Just in case I ever need an alibi.
Funny
+5
Never trust a person who speaks in absolutes.
Funny
--1
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I'm bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Funny
0
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
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0
Tetherball is just a big cat toy for people.
Funny
0
Funny Facebook Statuses
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I about punched my T.V. because I thought Kim Kardashian had a new reality show. I quickly realized I misunderstood what "Hoarders" implied.
Funny
0
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
Funny
0
Condoms do NOT guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Funny
0
If I've learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
Funny
0
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
Funny
0
Was eating jerky today and there was a little silica packet with a warning that said "Do not eat." Good thinking. Too bad there wasn't a warning on the plastic packaging too It took me two days to get that stuff out of my teeth.
Funny
0
To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.
Funny
0
Michael Jackson's new album ain't bad
Funny
+1

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