Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Funny Facebook Statuses
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Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, & good times had pause buttons. Live, laugh!
Funny
+14
( • ) ( • ) You pervs! Those are nice owl eyes, huh?
Funny
+13
Dear Monday, why are you following Sunday? don't be a stalker!! :D
Funny
+13
I don't Judge People,.I just laugh at them.
Funny
+13
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Funny
+12
The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
Funny
+12
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's an Instagram filter.
Funny
+11
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep
Funny
+11
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Funny
+10
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Funny
+10
Funny Facebook Statuses
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I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.
Funny
+10
I want my casket to have a crank on it that plays the jack-in-box music.
Funny
+10
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Funny
+10
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know...
Funny
+9
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Funny
+9
I'm not saying you're fat, but your shirt size has more x's than Taylor Swift..
Funny
+9
Ironing lady wanted.No wait, scrap that.Hot sexy male wanted to come and iron in my home.Fire and rescue training an advantage.Other men in uniform considered
Funny
+9
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
Funny
+8

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