Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Funny Facebook Statuses
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Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Funny
+14
( • ) ( • ) You pervs! Those are nice owl eyes, huh?
Funny
+14
Life would be perfect if some girls had mute buttons, guys had edit buttons, bad times had fast forward buttons, & good times had pause buttons. Live, laugh!
Funny
+14
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know...
Funny
+13
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Funny
+13
The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
Funny
+13
I want my casket to have a crank on it that plays the jack-in-box music.
Funny
+13
Dear Monday, why are you following Sunday? don't be a stalker!! :D
Funny
+13
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.
Funny
+12
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss
Funny
+11
Funny Facebook Statuses
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Post the generated link and it will appear as image in your timeline
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Funny
+11
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Funny
+11
I don't Judge People,.I just laugh at them.
Funny
+11
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
Funny
+10
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's an Instagram filter.
Funny
+10
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep
Funny
+10
I hate when the Doctor asks awkward questions. "Are you sexually active?" Depends on what you mean by "active". There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.
Funny
+10
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
Funny
+9

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