Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Men, we failed we just can never understand the woman's logic, so give up trying, nod your head, and say thank you for still loving us anyway
( • ) ( • ) You pervs! Those are nice owl eyes, huh?
It's 10 degrees here today. I just keyed someone's car with my nipples.
I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.
The work week is so long even the calendar says W T F
I'm in a relationship with sleep and i get some everynite... and if im lucky i get some during the day
Sarcasm is a body’s natural defense against stupid.
I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
Tonight... I'm drinking until I'm someone Else's problem!
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's an Instagram filter.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep
Tips to reduce weight: turn your head to the right, now to the left... now repeat this procedure every time you're offered something to eat.
The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Dear Monday, why are you following Sunday? don't be a stalker!! :D
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.


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