Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
Sarcasm is a body’s natural defense against stupid.
I don't have a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers - but I think 2 of them are cops.
Dear Monday, why are you following Sunday? don't be a stalker!! :D
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's an Instagram filter.
The work week is so long even the calendar says W T F
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Ya see,what had happen was..
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU'RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
( • ) ( • ) You pervs! Those are nice owl eyes, huh?
I may be crazy, funny,random, and slightly insane.. but u gotta love me :D
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep
I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.
The Four S's in a mans life Shit Shower Shave Sex
Did you ever wonder if camels looked down at their feet and say... Oh MY GOD I HAVE PUSSY FEET?
I love you more than coffee, but not always before coffee.
Tonight... I'm drinking until I'm someone Else's problem!


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