Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU'RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
Either that was a firework, or another Tribute is dead!
I don't have a Twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times. So far I've got 3 followers - but I think 2 of them are cops.
I may be crazy, funny,random, and slightly insane.. but u gotta love me :D
I am never having kids. Everything they do is your fault...
The work week is so long even the calendar says W T F
I'm actually really nice, until you annoy me.
Ya see,what had happen was..
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.
I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
( • ) ( • ) You pervs! Those are nice owl eyes, huh?
I'm in a relationship with sleep and i get some everynite... and if im lucky i get some during the day
I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.
The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
The Four S's in a mans life Shit Shower Shave Sex
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Dear Monday, why are you following Sunday? don't be a stalker!! :D
I listen to music everyday, no matter what mood I'm in.


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