Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Tip for summer: Never get your lip balm and your glue stick mixed up.
You know you're marrying a redneck, when, instead of say "I Do" they says "I reckon"
has found the "Parent Hand Book" and confirmed Job Description #71 states: A purpose of the parent is to periodically annoy the child, just because they can.
Ive snorted coke... but then I got an Ice Cube stuck in my nose and almost drowned!
Do you ever feel like everyone is looking at you like they know your little dirty secret, and you can't even remember what it is. lol
boy:mummy Can I lick the bowl mother:i already did so NO!
I didn't do it... But give me time, I might...
Looking at photos and seeing how much weight I have gained has inspired me to make a NEW resolution for 2011: NO MORE PHOTOS
Thought they shit themself but they only farted!!
I would love to be that flexible but I've never been able to get my head that far up my own arse!!
Lots of girls can be sexy, but it takes a special kind of woman to be BEAUTIFUL!
I'm a ninja! Well, I would have been but I got kicked out of ninja school. I'm not sure why, but I think it was because when I was doing a ninja move I farted.
Facebook is like DAVID CAMERON'S ass, full of shit!!
The awkward moment when you see someone really hot and then realise it's your own reflection...
Me 5y old:Daddy can I be a princess? Daddy:you can be everything you want! Me 28y old:Daddy can I be a princess? Daddy: did you already took your meds today?
had a great night last night...well from what I've been told i did anyway ;-)
Its raining. I think I'll go dance in the rain and splash in the mud puddles. Life is too short. Lets have some fun.


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