Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I'm going to stand outside.. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding..
Why u over there looking at me while your girl is standing there. Dont u look at me Dont talk to me Dont even blink at me. Get gone get the hell on.
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
Who wants to be a millionaire come on down to the price is right. If ure not A redskins fan stay the hell back. Sit down sit down sit down. Redskins fans please stand up.
Sometimes I rymes slow sometimes I rhyme quick my candy called chico stick. How about u come and take a lick.
بسم الله
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones. .
Im going to buy my deaf friend headphones for christmas cause im so fucking sweet.
You don't own me!!!
If a toy in Toy Story dies, only the toys themselves would know it had died. That'd mean they'd have to watch their kid play with it's corpse and make them join in!
For all you who think I'm not worth much, I'll have you know I have many great qualities or as my therapist calls them "symptoms".
We are here because we are here!
Face Book!..Eliminating the need for school reunions since 2004..
Your price is way to high u need to cut it .
I Dont fuck with you you lil stupid ass bitch I Dont fuck with you I Dont give a fuck I Dont give a fuck I Dont give a fuckkkkk .
Can't think of anything, OK let's do it dis way, recall all d old funny post and start laughing.
One day when I lose my voice and become mute for screaming at dumb people on American Idol I'll go on American Idol and I'll win. #HellenKellerIsMyIdol


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