Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.



Sometimes I rymes slow sometimes I rhyme quick my candy called chico stick. How about u come and take a lick.
Face Book!..Eliminating the need for school reunions since 2004..
One day when I lose my voice and become mute for screaming at dumb people on American Idol I'll go on American Idol and I'll win. #HellenKellerIsMyIdol
I love me I walks with me I only surprise me. Who is me there's no other like me. But wait a min stop drop and roll cuz here comes me.
You know that thing Eleanor Roosevelt said? "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. " Well. I don't even pretend to be in the first two groups.
I Dont fuck with you you lil stupid ass bitch I Dont fuck with you I Dont give a fuck I Dont give a fuck I Dont give a fuckkkkk .
بسم الله
Friends are like orgasms... nobody wants the fake ones. .
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.
You don't own me!!!
Who wants to be a millionaire come on down to the price is right. If ure not A redskins fan stay the hell back. Sit down sit down sit down. Redskins fans please stand up.
Why u over there looking at me while your girl is standing there. Dont u look at me Dont talk to me Dont even blink at me. Get gone get the hell on.
We are here because we are here!
Im going to buy my deaf friend headphones for christmas cause im so fucking sweet.
Your price is way to high u need to cut it .
For all you who think I'm not worth much, I'll have you know I have many great qualities or as my therapist calls them "symptoms".
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
If a toy in Toy Story dies, only the toys themselves would know it had died. That'd mean they'd have to watch their kid play with it's corpse and make them join in!

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