Drinking Facebook Statuses

More or less everyone loves a drink once in a while, and drinking to excess certainly leads to some hilarious situations, which can be exploited for drinking Facebook statuses. Funny Facebook statuses about drinking are generally quite effective in getting the activity notifications moving, so you should be quite bold about posting drinking Facebook statuses when you get the chance.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

i have two options 1. have a glass of vodka and drift off into constant nightmares or 2. have multiple glasses of vodka and cause nightmares for everyone else
I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
If water was Vodka & I was a duck, i'd swim 2 the bottom & never cum up, But waters not Vodka & i'm not a duck so slide me a bottle and shut the fck
Where to start? - laundry, clean the bathroom, vacuum, make a drink, dust... WAIT! BACK UP! Yep, "make a drink" wins! Gotta start somewhere!
says: you don't need hand sanitizer, just give them a rub down with a shot of vodka!
People ask me how I get through my day so Care Free, dealing with so many Assholes?? I tell em I'm G.H.E.T.T.O - Get High Everyday To Tolerate Others! ;0)
If Jacky D ain't cutting it, Jimmy B don't care and Johnny Walker has gone walk about, there is really only 1 thing left to do... run around like a WILD TURKEY
thinks my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
is on vacation, body is here, but brain is on a tropical beach with a margarita fountain and cabana boys
just found out what "Sober" meant. Son Of a Bitch Everything's Real
i had what the guy on the floor had, hahaha gonna be a good night!
says a friend will buy you drinks till you fall down.. a good friend will help you up... but a true friend is on the floor drunk with you :-)
has zero coping skills left today. the only option i have left is to drink heavily.
forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday
is wondering...If alcohol kills germs shouldn't getting drunk be the solution to being sick?!
well I'm hanging with the devil on my shoulder again today the angel called in cause they couldn't keep up last night and is still drunk and having nightmares
Our Government is sneaky. They raise tax on alcohol, then make the country such a mess you have to drink more.
by the end of the night i be as drunk as a skunk with a six pack and a girl to hump


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