Cool Facebook Statuses

In this day and age, pretty much everyone is on the lookout for “cool stuff”, so cool Facebook statuses certainly have plenty of positive uses. If you log in to your account and post cool Facebook statuses round the clock, your Facebook popularity will almost certainly skyrocket. Luckily there is no shortage of cool Facebook statuses for you to choose here!

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.



Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves. I feel like I'm gonna cough up a lung. Anybody need an extra lung? apparently I don't need mine if it's trying to escape!
When you walk into a spider web, it's funny how you instantly know Kung-Fu.
If we aren't ment to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?? i am clumsy and a brunette where is my sexy vampire? :(
my mind doesn't just wander, it fucks off completely at times : ) NO! I don't wanna go! You can't make me! Stomps feet, slams door... Alright fine! I'll go to work, but just so you know, I'm not happy about it!!!
who knows me best? whats my full name? favourite colour? favourite food? Date of birth? Eye colour? and my obsession?
why do i wear fluffy socks? 1% comfort, 1% warmth, 98% the incredible ability to slide across the floor like a ninja on an invisible surf board!!! What am I? 1=Crazy 2=I'd marry you.3=Talkative 4=Sarcastic.5=Moody 6=Dumb.7=Spoilt 8=Blond. 9=Random 10=Hot. 11=Funny. 12=Fit. 13=Amazing. 14=Tough. 15=Cute.
Have you been injured? Had a car accident? Fell over on a wet floor at work or tripped on an uneven curb? .. if so...you're a clumsy twat There was a safety meeting in work today. They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "Fucking big ones" was the wrong answer.
Me: Was I really that drunk? Friend: Yes.You fed a midget a mushroom and yelled "GROW, MARIO, GROW!" Click "like" if you wish heaven had a phone.
Got pulled over today and cop said "papers".. So I said scissors.. I WIN!!
I feel like I'm gonna cough up a lung. Anybody need an extra lung? apparently I don't need mine if it's trying to escape! Michael Jackson - Announces tour date, dies shortly after. Amy Winehouse - Announces tour date, dies shortly after. Can't wait for Justin Bieber's next tour
As we get older, we don't lose friends... we just realise who the real ones are <3 spider spider on the wall , you think your smart u no f*ck all , your on a wall that's just been plastered , now your stuck u silly b*stard
When your parents accuse you of lying to them, just look them in the eye and say; SANTA CLAUS! EASTER BUNNY! TOOTH FAIRY!
Hey Monday!! \/take That!!! \h250p\h041s\h2510(\h25q5\h203s\h25q5) \h250p\h041s\h2510
's new medicine makes life easy. It's called FUKITOL. ..Like this if you have ever Pushed a door that clearly states "PULL" x
has learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake \h2665\h2665\h266o\h266n Happy Birthday to you \h266n\h266o\h2022*\h00n8*\h2022.\h00o8\h00o8\h2665\h00o8 \h00o8.\h2022*\h00n8*\h2022\h266o\h266n Happy Birthday to you \h266n\h266o\h2022*\h00n8*
All children deserve a father but not all fathers deserve their children No matter how old or young you are, no matter how badass you think you are, you will always answer a toddlers ringing toy phone when they hand it to you.
Have you been injured? Had a car accident? Fell over on a wet floor at work or tripped on an uneven curb? .. if so...you're a clumsy twat Fact of life...After Monday & Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F !!
Paddy found out his wife was having an affair, so decided 2 kill her and himself..He puts the gun to his head, looks at wife and says "don't laugh your next" ! Lets see who actually knows me? 1)First Name? 2)Middle Name (spell it right)? 3)Age? 4)B-day? 5)Eye colour? 6)Nickname? 7)Fave colour? 8)Fave Sport?

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