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Merry Christmas to all my family and friends..I love all of you, and wish you the very best of everything...Peace and goodwill to you.
The true meaning of Christmas was never found under a tree, but was nailed to it.
.......why is a christmas tree better than a man??? It stays up for 12 days & nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on!!!!!
All I want for Christmas~can't be bought.
it's too bad you can't gift-wrap common sense...
Wow Christmas shopping is pretty much done. All I have left is to just sit here and mourn the death of my bank account
Let the spirit of love gently fill our hearts and homes. In this loveliest of seasons may you find many reasons for happiness.
Christmas is when you get the whole dysfunctional family under the one roof
"Dear Santa, I know you're real busy- so can you just give me your credit card and I'll take care of Christmas myself?" "Just trying to help out!"
Sent Santa a letter saying, "I wanted a husband who can cook, clean and do laundry." Just got a letter back saying, "I'm Santa not a miracle worker".
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For a Christmas gift...Don't you wish they made a "clap on clap off" device for some people's mouths!
I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR ASS and REMOVE IT!!
I'm going to rap batteries for Christmas and put a note saying "TOY NOT INCLUDED"
The original Christmas story couldn't happen in this day and age...I mean, where on earth could you find three wise men?!!
Merry Christmas Eve! If a man comes in the night and tries to put you in a bag , DO NOT BE ALARMED! I asked Santa for good friends this year... You're it!
To all the absent fathers this Christmas...you wankers have no idea what your missing out on!!
is thinking. If I had to make a live nativity scene with the cast of my friends. I would be in trouble! Who would be the Virgin Mary,3 Wise Men and the Angel?
has been gift card laundering, these gift cards I got last Christmas will be squeaky clean and ready for re-gifting. No one will ever catch on to my operation.