FStatuses is a collection of one-liners that you can use for your tweets and posts. Simply pick a background you like and post the generated image directly to your Twitter or Facebook account, download images by right-clicking them or simply copying the text you liked.
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Funny Facebook Statuses
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Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
My mother always told me as a child that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now as an adult I’m facing sexual harassment charges. Gee, Thanks mom!
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss
Wifey says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
I just got the results of my IQ test. It came back negative.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson’s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know...
Funny Facebook Statuses
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I'm writing a funny book. should i call it "The Lone Ranger goes to Canada" or "On To Toronto Tonto"?
I bought a car so old that it doesn't have dents, it has wrinkles.
When crossword lovers die they bury them 6 down and 3 across.
Take the high road. There's less traffic.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.
Police should wear red and blue light up shoes for when they have to chase someone on foot.
If I were invisible I'd go to Paris and beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible

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