Sarcastic Facebook Statuses

Sarcastic #676731

To the lady with the 6 screaming kids all under the age of 9 at the store, if your asking how that box of condoms got in your basket, your welcome

Sarcastic #665625

Organizing chores into 3 categories; 1)Things I wont do now 2) Things I wont do later

Sarcastic #633402

Confucius say: A man with their hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.

Sarcastic #627115

...true honest *love* never lies.

Sarcastic #645710

I love it how 1 pack of gum = instant popularity :)

Sarcastic #666679

Pull up your damn pants! You look like a moron! What if old men wore their pants like that..I'm just saying, I don't want to see my dad in their boxers!

Sarcastic #672638

THAT'S WHAT they SAID!

Sarcastic #667671

Run here comes the Devil! Devil "Were?? Were is the devil I don't see them!" Me " Danget Devil you are the Devil dummy!!" Devil " Oh OK then run!" Everyone "Ah!"

Sarcastic #678026

W.I.M.P Whiner in my presents

Sarcastic #650892

If I say I don't like you as nothing, I mean it. If I love you, I'll say so.

Sarcastic #643215

I called u earlier and I got your voice mail saying to call u back later so,I did and I got the busy signal. Now who is more important than me?

Sarcastic #650776

If I had a $1 for every man that said I never cheat on women, I'd have dollar bills coming out of my ass.

Sarcastic #633647

dad-no.

Sarcastic #628126

<~~~Ha! Wouldn't you like to know what I'm up too!

Sarcastic #634323

Delete removes them from your friends list, block removes them from your life!

Sarcastic #663821

No I'm not ignoring you. I suffer from selective hearing, usually triggered by idiots.

Sarcastic #647959

I was looking for the perfect status to fit my mood...and after a while I realised that nobody could even begin to put in words how I'm feeling right now!

Sarcastic #653775

Is bored like a fat kid with a plate of mixed veg.

Sarcastic #661817

Men love you so they can have sex with you, women have sex with you so you can love them...

Sarcastic #643561

I didn't know you were bilingual! You speak English and Stupid!

Sarcastic #662333

MUTE BUTTON for people wanted. I'll invest money.

Sarcastic #662515

My Dr's sending me for tests as they suspects that, somehow, my optical nerve may be connected to my rectal nerve ~ This could explain my current shitty outlook.

Sarcastic #662368

My attitude is brought to you by the makers of DRAMA INC. thank them!

Sarcastic #683452

wonders "how you can knock sense into someone when you're beating them senseless?"

Sarcastic #647839

i want u in my room, in my bed, under my blanket, wit the lights off...so I CAN SHOW U MY GLOW IN THE DARK BRACELETS!

Sarcastic #626091

's house wants burning down. But its so fucking damp that it probably wouldn't light! :(