Jokes Facebook Statuses

Jokes #651754

If vodka was water and i was i duck id swim to the bottom and drink it all up, but vodkas not water and I'm not a duck so slide me a bottle and shut the fuck up

Jokes #627671

33 -this is thirty three, 22 -this is twenty two, so shouldn't this (11) be onety one?

Jokes #638469

Fuck with me ill give you a concussion Fuck with my friends ill Fuck you up Fuck with my family what type of gravestone would you like?!!

Jokes #684090

WOW LOOK AT ALL MY CLICKS BET U COULDN'T BEAT THAT!

Jokes #662431

my boyfriend hid their sense of humor...we haven't seen it in years :(

Jokes #628150

?: "that was a really bad come back."

Jokes #681444

When you look into a person's eyes, you seem their soul. When you look into a woman's heart, you see their pain. Look into a mans brain, you see confusion.

Jokes #677133

Tried making Kool-Aid earlier... spent an hour getting the cup of sugar in that little package only to realize that the water wouldn't fit :(

Jokes #649938

I'm sorry, I'm having hormonal issues where blood comes out of my vagina. Talk to me in a week.

Jokes #660091

listening to chicken dance FF Funny

Jokes #666033

people say i have anger issues .. well i don't .. but i do have issues with idiots like you :)

Jokes #626255

(To the tune of 'Mary had a Little Lamb!')

Jokes #677588

U heard about Mickey divorcing Minnie? Yea that bitch was fucking Goofy!!

Jokes #687406

Your not as bad as everyone says... You are much, MUCH worse. I don't know how they could lie to me like that.

Jokes #680599

When i was a Kid People who wore there hat crooked, pants half off, and shoes untied Road the short Bus

Jokes #629300

About the time u think ur safe is the time the creeper from jeepers creepers comes and gets u

Jokes #652809

If you were a pigeon, whose car would you shit on? write your answer below. :)

Jokes #672119

T:Drake&Josh

Jokes #679615

What do you get if you find bones on the moon? The cow didn't make it!!! LOL Get it the cow didn't make it, ya know, Hey Diddle Diddle...Aww forget it!

Jokes #685235

You cry I cry, You laugh I laugh, You jump of a bridge... I get my phone out take some pictures and get a paddle boat and save your dumb butt

Jokes #666765

q: how many people does it take to screw in a light bulb A.:20 idiots or 1 nerd

Jokes #630812

AWWW..isn't that cute, you actually think I give a fuck that you blocked me, your level of delusions are so adorable, like a fuzzy Koala

Jokes #656976

It's all fun and games until a naked Asian guy pops out of your trunk and attack you with a crowbar lol :)

Jokes #647979

i was picking my nose and i got a big pink thing i tho-rt it was a sweet but it was my... Brian

Jokes #627893

:D

Jokes #636321

Eskimo on holidays in Wales. Car breaks down. Welshman looks under bonnet Says "you've blown a seal". Eskimo says "so what you fuck sheep".