Insane random Facebook Statuses

Insane random #655475

is so bored of being bored of being bored because being bored of boredom is so getting BORING!

Insane random #654864

is not a retard, i just like crayons OKAY :)

Insane random #642739

I am going to drown Mother Nature as soon as I catch their! That Ho is crazier and more evil than I am. I wont stand for competition !!

Insane random #684489

YES, i am eating invisible ice cream... AND NO u may not have some!!!

Insane random #683671

wonders why everyone thinks I'm weird? Everyone in my head thinks I'm awesome!!

Insane random #647670

i wanna go into a carpet store dressed on a magic person who rides flying carpets and sit on a carpet then yell HOW DO WE GET THIS DANG THING 2 WORK?

Insane random #626945

...if anybody asks... i was with you last night!

Insane random #632733

Can i add the voices in my head as dependents on my taxes?

Insane random #648022

I was told I needed therapy, but lets take score. I'm still crazy, and I've converted 4 therapists, 5 nurses, and my dog. Guess I wasn't so crazy after all!!

Insane random #633437

Cookie monster ate all the skittles and now the rainbow is gone. NOW HOW IS THE LEPRECHAUN GONNA GET their POT OF GOLD HUH COOKIE MONSTER. Just stick to cookies.

Insane random #647574

I use Status Shuffle because if write what I really think, they might send the men with the white hug-yourself coats to come get me

Insane random #657682

Its ok to talk to yourself, even to answer yourself, but it becomes a problem when you start goin "Huh? What'd ya say?" to yourself XD

Insane random #673653

The person you are trying to reach is temporarily out of their mind. Please leave a message after the beep... Beep!

Insane random #664393

O no! the purple porcupines are out to get me!! *crash* *bang* Omg they're here! TAKE COVER!!

Insane random #649445

I'm not completely crazy, but I'm making good progress!

Insane random #627126

...Watch out cause I am off my medication, but I am still taking the orange smart ass pills!!

Insane random #633644

DAD! THERE'S A LITTLE PURPLE GUY YELLING AT ME! Oh, wait that's not a guy that's a zebra. Never mind!!!

Insane random #680283

when ever I hear the saying " Any thing is possible " I say : " Have you ever tried nailing Jell-O to a tree, slam a revolving door or chew air?Yea that's right

Insane random #657334

It's one of those days that you want to make a tinfoil Viking helm, stand in the corner with a broken broomstick and threaten everyone in a bad German accent

Insane random #649635

I'm not spacey i listen very well, O MY GOD A GIANT PURPLE WAFFLE JUST TOOK MY SISTER, who cares, as i was saying

Insane random #669636

Smart Person: wtf?! Dumb person: oo you said a bad word! Smart Person: who tried fudge. you dumbass! Dumb Person: oo you said another bad word! SP: ..omfg

Insane random #626300

**Warning** the aforementioned person is capable of going from complete sanity to utter lunacy in record time. Please proceed with caution!

Insane random #650977

If I where a grass skirt and you where a lawn mower, how many pancakes would it take to cover the ceiling? None you idiot! Cause bones don't grow on ice cream.

Insane random #661659

Me and the Oompa Loompas and the Purple Unicorn Bob are playing poker tonight in the back room at Willie's anybody want to join?

Insane random #640664

Has trained their pet rock ! I taught it to stay and sit :D

Insane random #644724

I have a Plan, all I need is duct tape, a 5 gallon bucket, a toilet plunger, 2 sticks of dynamite, a midget in a unicorn costume and the real Batman (no posers)