Humor Facebook Statuses

Humor #684169

WTF! Y did U leave ME there...oh wait wrong person

Humor #645197

I just want to say i miss you.

Humor #641601

hey how u doring

Humor #667836

Say no to reincarnation! Life is hard enough the first time around.

Humor #662946

My mother just broke down the difference between a Woman, a Bitch & a Hoe...let's just say according to their definition I haven't ran into many women

Humor #684348

Yeah, can you bluetooth yourself to invisible plz. TY

Humor #630581

as the man counter attacks what the fuck you on about, iv finished ya slack cunt...

Humor #641410

HELP WANTED: Need to put these girls to work - cuz all they're doing is sitting around! Send all forms of payment to Paypal! ;) XOXO

Humor #684050

Wouldn't it be cool if breast implants came with squeaky toys inside!!

Humor #664603

Oh My God! The flying pink elephant just pooped on your head! XD

Humor #678626

WARNING: NEVER Look through your parents Cell phone Pictures!! It will SCAR YOU FOR LIFE!!

Humor #664975

Okay,so your 13 years old you have a laptop, ipod, iPhone & a blackberry...Dude when i was 13 I was lucky to just have a house phone in my bedroom :/

Humor #652879

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! Now don't you feel like a spaz?

Humor #632089

Bob takes a wiz in the urinal and is walking out the door when a man asks arent you going to wash your hands, the other man replies; no i dont piss on my hands!

Humor #664831

OK when people fall or get hurt why do we laugh but when its you you get mad at people laughing.?

Humor #682713

why is it that you can wake at stupid o clock an be ready to tackle anything but as soon as you hear the kiddies waking up you suddenly feel sleepy x

Humor #650709

If I could run as fast as my mouth does, I would be a size zero!

Humor #626389

*randomly starts laughing hysterically* (still laughing says:) " you think I'm crazy"

Humor #641643

hey sexy Lexi Ur my best friend Lexi says ya sure i say fuck no bitch if Alexis turner i fuckin hate you

Humor #649688

I'm nt here 4 Ur entertainment U dnt really want 2 mess with me 2nite Just stop and take a sec I was fine b4 u walked into my life ...

Humor #672845

The cat fell down the well and the rooster laughed. This just goes to show that a cock loves a wet pussy

Humor #665027

omg its a bloody mess what did you do I ate a ice pop Lies

Humor #632233

Boy: School ahead slow down.

Humor #641724

hey, my names __________ and I'm a ass-lick er and should seriously go and get a life :) xxxxxxxx

Humor #680185

When a cop pulls you over and says "your eyes look red , have you been drinking?" DO NOT SAY "Your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Humor #678684

was in the shower today and wondered 'y do people have setru showers. u only look into the bathroom