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Funny thought Facebook Statuses
No Mr. spam mail, I don't want to enlarge my penis, but my vagina thanks you for asking
says during a lightning storm be sure to follow these 2 simple rules. Go stand under a tree, and put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye
(_|_) (_/_) (_|_) (__) (_|_) .. just getting comfy
These kids with their attitudes! I may not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I sure as hell can beat the crap outta one!
Wants to run around slapping people with oil dipsticks and saying "Now that's thinking with your dipstick jimmy!!"
if "love" "vodka" fun!!!
Is wondering exactly what the definition of "naughty" is..because if it is too detailed...I know I will only be getting flammable rock this winter Christmas!
Yeah silence
sometimes while i drink my coffee i stare out the window and ask myself "how many people am i going to cuss out today"
Am I the only one who seems to attract mentally-unstable people?
wants to set an army of chickens loose inside a KFC
I guess today's to do list was written in disappearing ink. Because I had the best of intentions on completing absolutely everything on it and nothing got done.
Isn't it ironic how McDonald's always have wide doors?
is having one of those days where i just want to light somebodys face on fire and try putting it out with a fork!!
J-E-T-S Just End Their Season and let the STEELERS win! :)
When I was younger I would make funny faces in the mirror. Now that I'm older the mirror is getting even! I hate that mirror!!!
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! i have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
Skinny jeans, stretchy pants and really short shorts should have a weight limit! I mean there is really no need to see someones elephant toe!
Naughty?.. Nice?.. I have the rest of the year to decide.. I'm leanin towards Naughty ;)
Teacher:"Why are you talking in the middle of my class?" Student: "Why are you teaching in the middle of my conversation?"
*a little girl is looking at their mom's driver licence* mommy? i know why daddy left you. whys that sweetie? cause you got an F is sex.
__________/__________o/_______
is very entertained just going through the status' on Status Shuffle... they are absolutely funny.
there's always a little voice in my head saying NO when i am thinking of something bad. Am I supposed to listen?
I'm not random I'm as random as a dog taking a crap on a post box see i told you I'm not random
Yeah, I thought about it and I ain't fuckin wit it