Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Everybody thinks I'm such a good friend for listening & helping them with their problems, but the truth is that I just need something to distract me from my own ~Don't Bully
Why isn't the iPhone's battery life called "Apple Juice"?
Chris Brown said he might retire from music. That sure is going to leave him with a lot of time on his fists.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I'm not saying that I've been on the internet too long today, I'm just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
I hate how homeless people shake their coin cups at me. I get it. No need to gloat that they have more money than me.
I made a penis out of Legos. A literal cock block.
My masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me. That's the last time I ask for a happy ending...
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
Is anyone going to tell America's funniest videos about YouTube?
Sometimes I like to sleep outside. No hobo
Had my identity stolen last year.... my credit score has gone up 100pnts
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn't listen to me... I said,"You're about to walk into a lamppost."
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
I can't sleep. I've been up for hours. I even tried reading LinkedIn.
Cops don't like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air then you wave them like you just don't care


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