Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I ever buy cheap toilet paper!
I don't know why I'm disappointed when I find out a celebrity crush is married. As if that was our only obstacle to being together.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home.
Sorry. I'm just now seeing your text from last night. Do you still need that EpiPen?
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t
As a nation, we may be spending our children's money, but at my house, it's the other way around.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
Life is a marathon. That's why I'm carb loading.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
I woke up screaming this morning. Then I had to apologize to everyone in the staff meeting.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. For instance, if they are holding a gun she's probably angry.
Apparently I misunderstood it when I was told to "expose yourself to other cultures."
Black Friday is starting to turn into Black Thursday...
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.


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