Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

Painting your entire face and body for an NFL game is an effective way to show team spirit and practice abstinence at the same time
It's been 4 years to the day that I threw that boomerang. I still find myself looking over my shoulder and living in fear.
"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is my typical response when someone hands me their baby.
I'm awesome at "picking up dropped food, pretending to set it aside in the bag or corner of my plate, nonchalantly eating it seconds later."
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
It's only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" is a hit reality show.
I like to think of bread as really bland cake.
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn't touch anything else, so that's good.
Congress continues game of Truth or Dare, no one picks Truth.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How crappy was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don't believe you."
I'm so in debt I could start my own government.
The only difference with screwing around and science, is writing it down.
Instead of a sign that says "do not disturb" I need one that says "already disturbed proceed with caution".
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I'm not actually pregnant.
"Twister kills 15 in Oklahoma." They must take that game way too seriously...
I went to Spain to run "with" the bulls but I had to run "from" the bulls...someone made a mistake, a big mistake..
I'm not anti-social, I'm selectively social. There's a difference.


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