Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.



I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life if I die on Wednesday.
I wonder if Bill Nye and his dance partner will have good chemistry.
Just when I think I'm over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
I hope when Bruce Willis dies, it's from a Viagra overdose. That way the headline can read "Bruce Willis Died Hard".
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
Where did Dr. Dre go to medical school?
When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!
I'm going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
Goldilocks was a hipster: Hardly liked anything, and she tried to eat porridge before it was cool.
Who decided to call them exes and not stalemates?
You've got to love yourself. But not in public places.
I'm trying to master the art of eating a powdered doughnut, without looking like I just got back from Charlie Sheen's house.
This Labor Day let’s celebrate all the work we successfully avoided this year.
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
I bought powdered water but I don't know what to add to it.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you're probably a weatherman.
Hey smartphone owners! That blurred bit just off the edge of the screen is called life.

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