Funny Facebook Statuses

Research shows that funny Facebook statuses are the ones that generally get the most positive reaction from readers. Being light-hearted and funny is definitely the way to win approval from large numbers of Facebook users, and funny Facebook statuses are the best way to go about it. For those who are not naturally funny, there are lots of Facebook statuses about funny things available here.

Please add only relevant and interesting statuses. If your total rating gets to low you won't be able to post again for some time.

If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence, your answer should always be, "Please don't hit me again officer"...
For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction. - Newton's law of the Internet
The problem with taking the road less traveled is the poor phone signal...
At what age do you stop sniffing your kid's crotch to see if they wet themselves? Because my mom is out of control with that...
Cops don't like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air then you wave them like you just don't care
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
If you’re going to hire a moving company, make them all play Tetris first and choose the one who gets the highest score.
Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
My masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me. That's the last time I ask for a happy ending...
I wish there was a rollover plan for all the childhood naps I refused.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they'd tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
I want a closed-casket funeral when I die. And in case anyone opens it, I want one of those boxing gloves on a spring to shoot out.
Relationships would be easier if people came with a “Clear History” button.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but so was yesterday, and look how that turned out...


We add new interesting quotes to our site daily, so visit us frequently to find the most popular facebook status updates, sayings about relationships and friendship or some funny facebook statuses. Also please remember to vote for the ones you like, so that more people can see them. Thanks!