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I'm gonna get me some mistletoe & put in my back pocket this X-mas. ..Because, I can. Do you think anyone would kiss my ass?
I'm going to rap batteries for Christmas and put a note saying "TOY NOT INCLUDED"
doesn't want a whole lot for Christmas - would be happy with either a fairy godmother, a genie or a magic wand that works with any basic command.
Wow Christmas shopping is pretty much done. All I have left is to just sit here and mourn the death of my bank account
Everyone who has someone special up there in heaven knows how it feels to be missing someone, so Merry Christmas to all the wonderful people up there! <3 xxx
it's too bad you can't gift-wrap common sense...
I put in an URGENT REQUEST to Santa last night for a mirror so you can locate that STICK that's UP YOUR ASS and REMOVE IT!!
.......why is a christmas tree better than a man??? It stays up for 12 days & nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on!!!!!
is thinking. If I had to make a live nativity scene with the cast of my friends. I would be in trouble! Who would be the Virgin Mary,3 Wise Men and the Angel?
Christmas is when you get the whole dysfunctional family under the one roof
is wondering 'is it to early to buy Easter eggs?'
Whoever said that your slower then Christmas was an idiot, Every year it gets faster and faster!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
The original Christmas story couldn't happen in this day and age...I mean, where on earth could you find three wise men?!!
Warning: Christmas is WAYYY closer then it appears!!!
is sooo sick of everyone saying 'Happy Holidays', for fear they might offend someone. So, I'll say it straight up - MERRY CHRISTMAS!
To all the absent fathers this Christmas...you wankers have no idea what your missing out on!!
Merry Christmas Eve! If a man comes in the night and tries to put you in a bag , DO NOT BE ALARMED! I asked Santa for good friends this year... You're it!