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Sarcastic humour Facebook Statuses
Iaz gonna frow marshmellows at yahh windaaa and candaaay canez fru yahh lettaa box, cozz i iz dat arrrd! initt! :P
How you ever noticed how a cop ASKS to search your car? Well, dumb-ass, say no!
ladies and gentlemen, welcome to SD. In case you were unaware blizzards and 4-wheel drive are a fact of life out here in the boonies. We hope you enjoy ur stay
Thinks Facebook has turned into a place for people to whinge and tell others how badly done to they are. well here's my whinge. F**K off we don't care! The End!
Doctor: I have good news and bad. The good is you have 24 hours to live
oh s**t I'm out of Prozac don't say i didn't warn you!!!
You may think I'm retarded but your wrong. I'M SARCASTICALLY AWESOME!
What's your dad's address? I wanna go kick their ass for not wearing a condom...seriously, what is it?
A women never had a asshole until they got married!! -_- xx
Ever sat down at work and your shooting the shit with your boss when all of a sudden you picture bitch slapping the shit of of them?
If someone throws skittles at me and yells, "Taste the rainbow!
Fake nails. Fake hair. Fake tan. Fake eyelashes. Fake boobs. Fake personality! Do u have a tattoo on your ass saying 'Made in China' by any chance?
If I die young, place a note on my grave saying " Will be back soon". I'd love to see the expression on people's faces visiting the grave yard!
You cannot even begin to fathom, the extent of fuck I do not give today...
You- "depends. How highs the bridge??"
Once you get on one of life's roller coasters, you can't just get off...you have to finish it. You can, however throw up on the person next to you. :)
Whoever came up with the saying "Its as easy as taking candy from a baby" probably never tried to take the candy from a baby. It's not that easy.
i am protective of my girl's. this is your only warning. your the new guy in their life and even though i am so happy for you ill kill you if you hurt their. got it
I hate when people put every detail of everything they do on here! I don't want to know about what you are doing at every moment, be right back i have to poop!
Really, well your a weak little prick(:
girl: your penis size...
hi I'm a bra and i touch your girlfriends boobs are you jealous yet?
that one person who thinks they're amazing but actually, they look like a donkeys ass!
My favourite Country Song is "It's always hard to kiss the lips at Night that has chewed my ASS out all day long".
If 2 tacos stop swimming,and 5 still are,how many tacos are there all together...YOU IDIOT STOP COUNTING AND realise TACOS DON'T SWIM!
The next time you're in Walmart, hide in a clothes rack and when someone is looking through the clothes come out and say "WELCOME TO NARNIA" :)