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Boyfriend Facebook Status On Sky Background
Drinking Facebook Status On Grass Background
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I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain."
Funny
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You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.
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Always make sure to tell your wife you are going to the hardware store before walking out the door saying "gonna go get some trim"...
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It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
Funny
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dear homework,u r unatrattive,therefore,i cannot do u
Cool
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I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
Funny
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drink
Drinking
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ցαժα τիε οηԼγ ηαmε ιz εηουցի
Attitude
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I've made a business of selling prayer mats on top of landmines. Prophets are going through the roof.
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If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
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lies
Annoyed
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I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
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love
Boyfriend
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Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser
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It's almost "It's not even Thanksgiving yet and they're already decorating for Christmas!" season.
Funny
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There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all.
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I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
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Who wants to learn Roman numerals? I for one.
Funny
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