You can get your favourite quotes as a cute picture for your timeline, just click one of the image icons under the facebook status that you like.
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My alarm clock stopped working, so I'll be setting the microwave for 8 hours while I sleep on the kitchen floor.
Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it's not their own.
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse first. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage
When your boyfriend plays video games all day.
Good Morning Faces in all Places. Carry the Lord with you every where you go. Have a joyful and blessed day.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I'd probably choke it.
Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
http://funds.gofundme.com/dashboard/j6dqzw PLEASE can anyone at least give a dollar?
Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Never allow those you love to stop you from your destination
I just realized I’ll never be a Lawyer because I can’t pass a bar.
Friends is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn,but it takes years to write...
by Marhean Orel
Do you, take Ted the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?