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Charles Manson is engaged to be married at the age of 80. Think they're registered at Blood Bath & Beyond?
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You call it beef jerky. I prefer the term "cow raisins"
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Sorry. I'm just now seeing your text from last night. Do you still need that EpiPen?
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20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
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Best of luck explaining why you’re still single at Thanksgiving and Charles Manson isn’t
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Tattoo artists should have built-in spell check.
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If you have a dog grooming business and didn't name it "Doggie Style" then something is seriously wrong with you.
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do not trust::ever even yourself
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love you all
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if you are reading this
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My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.
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I woke up screaming this morning. Then I had to apologize to everyone in the staff meeting.
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I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
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The hardest part is saying goodbye, but in order to get to the rainbow you must pass through the storm.
Love Hurts
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Keep the dream alive! Hit the snooze button.
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Bacon: low-carb and gluten-free. I think I just found the staple to my next diet.
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You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by her hands. For instance, if they are holding a gun she's probably angry.
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I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
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