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We hand pick our most popular facebook statuses to find the best facebook status for your profile. Your friends will love any of the funny facebook statuses you find here and will enjoy reading your facebook status updates. Our facebook statuses collection is always growing so you can always get the best facebook status here. Visit frequently to find the best facebook statuses. Find the best facebook statuses here.
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Life is a marathon. That's why I'm carb loading.
Funny
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Black Friday is starting to turn into Black Thursday...
Funny
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I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
Funny
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Best friends
Best Friends
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I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
Funny
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feeling sad
Alone
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As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
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It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home.
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My wife told me a turducken was as close to a threesome as I’m ever going to get.
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Hwy You DO u know ur a Fucking tity stalker
Bitchy
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don't cry for what could have been....smile cause of what you shared.
Death
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Turkey, its all about dat baste, bout dat baste.
Funny
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A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
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I don't know why I'm disappointed when I find out a celebrity crush is married. As if that was our only obstacle to being together.
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I got in touch with my inner self today. That's the last time I ever buy cheap toilet paper!
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I think retail therapy should be covered by health insurance. It is therapy after all.
Funny
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I love you. I love you not because you're adorable or because you're sweet, or because you're my best friend. I love you because you make me step outside myself & look at who I really am. You make me want to be a better person, just because you are who you are. I can tell you absolutely everything, & I know you will listen. And you're one of my best friends, but I'll keep all of this to myself because I love you & because you don't feel the same way. I wish that I could make you love me, but I can't. That's why these words will be forever lost in my memories & never to be spoken aloud. I love you.
Best Friends
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As a nation, we may be spending our children's money, but at my house, it's the other way around.
Funny
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