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We hand pick our most popular facebook statuses to find the best facebook status for your profile. Your friends will love any of the funny facebook statuses you find here and will enjoy reading your facebook status updates. Our facebook statuses collection is always growing so you can always get the best facebook status here. Visit frequently to find the best facebook statuses. Find the best facebook statuses here.
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I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
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My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy…
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I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
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My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions
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When I was little I didn’t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it’s obvious that my parents didn’t care either.
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You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
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My internet goes out more than I do.
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I’m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
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cool
Cool
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“Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.
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Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE!” I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
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Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's an Instagram filter.
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apenas o meu sono me entende tão bem
Alone
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I'd like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.
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We never really grow up, we just learn how to act in public.
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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
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This getting older thing really sucks. These days my eyes are so bad I have to buy the Large Print edition of Alphabet Soup.
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