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We hand pick our most popular facebook statuses to find the best facebook status for your profile. Your friends will love any of the funny facebook statuses you find here and will enjoy reading your facebook status updates. Our facebook statuses collection is always growing so you can always get the best facebook status here. Visit frequently to find the best facebook statuses. Find the best facebook statuses here.
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Success is like a fart. It only bothers people when it's not their own.
Funny
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Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
Funny
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My alarm clock stopped working, so I'll be setting the microwave for 8 hours while I sleep on the kitchen floor.
Funny
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If I could get a firm grip on reality...I'd probably choke it.
Funny
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Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
Funny
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I just realized I’ll never be a Lawyer because I can’t pass a bar.
Funny
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Friends is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn,but it takes years to write...
Best Friends
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Type your status here...
Alone
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Never allow those you love to stop you from your destination
Advice
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When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse first. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage
Funny
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When your boyfriend plays video games all day.
Annoyed
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Type your status here...
Alone
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Good Morning Faces in all Places. Carry the Lord with you every where you go. Have a joyful and blessed day.
Morning
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Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
Funny
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Do you, take Ted the Optometrist to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse?
Funny
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Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot.
Funny
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Hangovers are nature's way of grounding you as an adult.
Funny
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One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
Funny
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