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Just came to the realization that with their ridiculous fees, I'm tipping my ATM more than my bartender.
Me: "We decided we don't really want to have kids." Her: "Don't you already have 2?" Me: "Yeah..."
I have purchased thousands of bobby pins in my lifetime. I currently have about 2.
i smile,i say iam okay, i laugh~!but really!but really iam not inside.i have a lot of fun with friends but when iam alone i fell as if there is no 1 there for me! :(
Ever have a plan for the day, then 4pm rolls around and you've achieved literally nothing?
The older I get, the more badly I realize I need adult supervision.
I wonder how they sold physicians on the first prostate exams
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you're like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you're from Alabama)
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it's between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I’m very skilled at shooting aliens this way.
I just started a new exercise routine. Every day I do diddly-squats.
All you people posting how cold your winter was-try living in florida in the summer
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Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you're a terrible person and had it coming.