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I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
It's almost "It's not even Thanksgiving yet and they're already decorating for Christmas!" season.
Why are you doing thid to us. Can't you shut your gob mow?
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain."
Who wants to learn Roman numerals? I for one.
dear homework,u r unatrattive,therefore,i cannot do u
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
Jamie Rae I just want you to know that you are my everything. I loves you forever and ever no matter what 6-6-13
Love love I loves you alottle no matter what
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all.
Jamie Rae You're my everything, my life, and without you I wouldn't be anything. Forever and always 6-6-13
ցαժα τիε οηԼγ ηαmε ιz εηουցի