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They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
I would rather listen to an album recorded by an actual pitbull than Pitbull.
if you are going down a road and don't like what's in front of you and look behind you and don't like what you see, get off the road Create a new path
I know what I want and if you dont got it, then I dont want you
Face tattoos are like regular tattoos except face ones let everyone know you’d rather not have a job where you pay taxes.
People are still poaching elephants in this day and age!? I can't even poach an egg!
ok bye friends good night
Naked yoga in the backyard is the best way to get the neighbors to pay for that privacy fence.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes
Taking back your ex is like buying your crap back from your own garage sale
I know what I am looking for, if you dont have what I want, then I dont want you
Tomorrow is my exam but I dont care Because a single sheet of paper cannot decide my future...
Without a doubt, the cashew is my favorite nut that sounds like a sneeze.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
A buttload is an actual measurement for drug smugglers.