You can get your favourite quotes as a cute picture for your timeline, just click one of the image icons under the facebook status that you like.
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I’m glad they finally made waterproof phones. Pushing friends into the pool is funny.
im in a serious rlationship with coffee
Electric hand dryers are great for when you want to just give up and wipe your hands on your pants.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what's on tv, don't say dust
Political views are like children. Some people don’t have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off
Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep
Shit happens, i mean look at you.
Girls trying fuck up your relationship
I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
My inner child is a mean little fucker.
Taking viagra for my sunburn. Doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off of my legs at night!
Aren't you just a happy go lucky ray of fucking sunshine
It's early Saturday morning & I am wide awake..family has to have blood work-fasting which means NO COFFEE..you bet I'm awake...I didn't say "I'm happy" but I am awake!!!!
Don’t you wish some people would start using a glue stick instead of lipstick?